Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
