You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
