another moral hangover. fuck.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
