We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
