What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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