I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
