what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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