he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
