I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
