how can u be prego again
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
