Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
