I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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