Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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