I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize