in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
