woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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