their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
