What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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