I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Just high enough for therapy.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
