Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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