; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
