what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
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