I need help removing her.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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