She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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