Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
