i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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