Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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