so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
