last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
