just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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