Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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