He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I smell stomach acid.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
