I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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