you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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