"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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