I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
