so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize