I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
