using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
