btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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