Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
