I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
