Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
