I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You're like the curious george of whores
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
