i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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