I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
