I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
