Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
try to milk me bitch
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
