Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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