I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
The struggles of a small town man whore
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
