you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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