K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
