She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
