Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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