There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
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