I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Randomize
