fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
