Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
