sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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