Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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