I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
All I want is dick and wine.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I forget how to act sober
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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