So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
