Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
